HOW TO OVERCOME LOW SELF-ESTEEM

 Low self-esteem often go hand-in-hand with depression. Low self-esteem leaves individuals vulnerable to depression. Depression batters one’s self-esteem. ^*

“Depression often distorts thinking, making a once-confident person feel insecure, negative and self-loathing,” said Deborah Serani, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist and author of the book Living with Depression. 

Past positive or neutral thoughts become “I am incompetent,” “I suck at everything,” or “I hate myself,’” according to clinical psychologist Dean Parker, Ph.D.

(On the other hand, “High self-esteem is associated with certain positive cognitions or beliefs, such as ‘I am good,’ ‘I am a success,’ [or] ‘I am valuable to others,’” he said.)

Our self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. If you have low self-esteem you may feel;

·         like you hate or dislike yourself

·         worthless or not good enough

·         unable to make decisions or assert yourself

·         like no one likes you

·         you blame yourself for things that aren't your fault

·         guilt for spending time or money on yourself

·         unable to recognize your strengths

·         undeserving of happiness

·         Low in confidence.

 The following may be physical signs that you have low self-esteem.

• ·         I can’t sleep most of the time.
• ·         I am tired most of the time.
• ·         My body feels tense.
• ·         When I meet a new person (or I’m in another uncomfortable situation):
• ·         I sweat profusely.
• ·         The room spins.
• ·         I can’t catch my breath.
• ·         I blush a lot.
• ·         I feel like my heart is going to pound right out of my chest.

 Think about what is affecting your self-esteem

What affects our self-esteem differs for everyone. that's why it is necessary to identity what actually caused the low self-esteem.

While low self-esteem may be deeply rooted, you can start chipping away at the layers of loathing. Each day, you can engage in an activity that improves your self-esteem. Below, are tips that can help one over come a low self-esteem;

1. Deal with dysfunctional thinking.

 “Research shows that negative thinking is the linchpin responsible for setting off low self-esteem,” Serani said. Depression also colors your world. “Depression corrodes judgment and thinking styles,” she said. Negative thoughts become destructive, making you susceptible to poor decisions and abusive situations, she said.

Parker likened this cycle to a bad mp3 that “repeatedly states one’s failures and self-doubts until they feel defeated and see no hope or future.”

Addressing these corrosive cognitions is critical. A valuable strategy is to investigate your thoughts for accuracy. Serani suggested asking these three questions:

• “What evidence supports my thinking?
• Would others say this is true about me?
• Does feeling this way make me feel good about myself or bad about myself?”

This also includes replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. But, as Parker underscored, this doesn’t mean repeating empty affirmations. Rather, it’s about creating and using factual and meaningful self-statements.

The reality is that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Having a solid self-esteem means accepting and appreciating all your sides.  As Psych Central’s founder, John Grohol, Psy.D, noted in this piece on self-esteem:

People with a good and healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments. They also acknowledge that while they’re not perfect and have faults, those faults don’t play an overwhelming or irrationally large role in their lives or their own self-image (how you see yourself).

2. Start a self-esteem journal.

 Now that you know some reasons why loss of self-esteem occur and the basic negative thoughts that are responsible for perpetuating low self-esteem, you can begin the process to change your beliefs about yourself. This process might be easier to do on the computer, so you can change the organization around so it makes sense to you without having to start your journal over again. A spreadsheet format is a good way to keep your thoughts organized and allows you plenty of room to experiment.

3. Begin the day with a boost

 Find books, calendars and websites that are uplifting and inspiring to you, it will help y a lot.websites also has funny memes you can follow,  While they might seem simple, these daily gestures are another way to create a supportive environment.

4. Avoid negative self-talk

You might automatically put yourself down.

But learning to identify and challenge your negative self-beliefs can have a positive impact on your self-esteem. It can helpful to ask yourself: "would I talk to, or think about a loved one in such a negative way?"

5. Connect with people who love you

It's easy to feel bad about yourself if you spend time with people who treat you badly or don't appreciate you. stay around people that know and value your worth.Make a conscious effort to spend more time with people who love you and treat you like you expect to be treated. This can help you to feel good about yourself and challenge your negative thinking.

Talking to loved ones about how you feel can help you to reassess how you view yourself. Ask them what they like about you - it's likely that they see you differently to how you see yourself.

6. Learn to be assertive

When you don't like yourself, it's easy to assume others won't like you either. You may find you go out of your way to help others as you feel it's the only way they'll like you. It can make you feel even worse if this help isn't reciprocated.

A good deed is great but over stretching yourself to please others can leave you with less energy to focus on yourself and can affect your mental health.

You could try the following to increase your confidence:

·         learn to say "no" - take a breath before automatically agreeing to do something you don't want to

·         set boundaries around how much you do for other people

·         take control of your own decisions

At first you might find it difficult to break these habits but making small changes to be more assertive can feel liberating and gets easier the more you do it.

7. Fight the urge to be a competitive person

 People who compare always feels inadequate because people with this type of thought pattern are always busy comparing themselves with other people, and believing that everyone around them are better than them.

·         For instance, a competitive person might say this: “Look at that. My neighbor has a Hemi truck. I don’t think I could ever afford one of those. I’m such a failure.”

Overcoming a low self-esteem is a gradual process, so don't hate yourself when these tips doesn't yield results as fast as possible.

     

I sincerely hope this article was of help to you?

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